finally found my code issue on my blog

my new posts were not posting, took a whole to find the error in the script that I had added, seems to be good now. I suppose time will tell

-Dave

I drempt I was a stream

tonight I dreampt that my life was a stream, it flowed gently from a beggning, to and end, along
the way there were stones and pebbels that disturbed the otherwise calm smooth surface of the
water, and each place where there was a disruption, the ripples flowed down stream almost
endlessly, until they had blended back into the tranquil smoothness of the calm water. I stuck my finger the in the water and observed that no matter where it was placed my finger caused ripples that flowed out and touched the very edges of the stream.

I then drempt that I was that stream, calm, quiet, no stress no outside influances, just being.
there was noone, there was nothing, just peace, scilence, and calm..

Lost

lost in a world that doesn't understand, lost in a world that
doesn't care, lost in a world numb to reality, a world where what once
was considered unacceptable, now is accepted as common place.

Each day it gets harder to see the good, becomes harder to see the
good in humanity. It wears me down, it seems very difficult to escape
from it. I find retreating into my own mind one of the few places left
that feels safe.

Lately I feel very alone in the world. I look at the past, I smile....
Then I cry, so many mistakes, and now here I am. Sometimes I hate
knowing the things I am not supposed to know. I look back at the
happiest times of my life and each of them involves ignorance on my
part, or at very least turning a blind eye to that which was so
obvious to people around me.

I wish I could get back to that, it seems that the world rewards that
type of behaviour. I want to be ignorant, I want to stop wanting to
make the world a better place, want to stop caring about helping
people be happy. It is such a constant drain, and it hurts so much.

I need a sign that what I do matters in the grand schme of things.
That I matter.......

Woke up to patch adams on the TV, just in time to hear these quotes... prolly the perfect way to start a morning.

You're focusing on the problem. If you focus on the problem, you can't see the solution. Never focus on the problem!

See what no one else sees. See what everyone chooses not to see... out of fear, conformity or laziness. See the whole world anew each day!

the wonders of technology.

Now, through the wonders of technology, I can update all of my networking sites from one application on my iphone. I have to say it makes me pretty happy..

It also kept me busy for like 2 hours, lol...

-D

in the city, in the dark

as I lay here in the dark, in my hotel room. I look out at the city lights, i wonder what could possibly be next in my life. just since I have been here in my room, I have been happy, randomly cried, and been depressed (mostly by the news was better when I turned off the TV)

Tonight I just want to crawl under a rock and hide. just to be away, if even for just a little while. It is looking more and more like I am not going to be able to go home till after the weekend. That kinda bums me, but at the same time I am having trouble caring, or seeing that it really matters at all. I hope tomarrow will be better, today was ok, had some good highlights just supper emotional.

Started a facebook page today... that has been interesting... saw my friend raul on there from high school, brought back lots of memories, sent him a message we will see what happens.

maybe its time to just unplug for the evening, listen to some music.

numb

when I started thinking about his post, I wanted to say that I just didn't care, thats not really true though. Its more than I am just numb. I have seen things recently that I never thought I would see, I have experienced things that I never thought I would or could experiece, I have come through the other side, and here I am. At some point I am sure I will think that I am better for it, that the experience has made me better in some way, but for now... I am just numb, right now

Going to SF tomarrow, wish I could say that I was looking forward to it. At lease it will be nice to get away for a while, my co-worker is a really good time to hang out with, and she said that we HAVE to go ut at least one night we are there. so I guess we will see.

I still hope that the next wonderful chapter in my life is just around the corner, I just wish that I could skip this particular part. My thoughts are on my family, I hope and prey that my dad comes around, my friends I hope they are all finding happieness, the world, I hope that things turn around, and hope returns to a world that has become mired in negativity and unhappieness.