tazicus:") myubound = ubound(myvar3) myuboundreal = myubound If myubound > howmannyposts Then myubound = howmannyposts counter = 1 loopcounter = 1 Do Until loopcounter = myubound myloopvar = Split(myvar3(counter), "<description>") mydatevar = Split(myvar3(counter), "<pubDate>") mydatevar1 = Split(mydatevar(1), "</pubDate>") mydate = mydatevar1(0) myloopvar1 = Split(myloopvar(1), "</description>") mymessage = Split(myloopvar1(0), "tazicus:") mymessagetemp = mymessage(1) mysplitdate = Split(mydate, " ") workingtime = mysplitdate(4) myyear=mysplitdate(3) mymonth=mysplitdate(2) myday=mysplitdate(1) If mymonth = "Jan" Then mymonth = 1 End If If mymonth = "Feb" Then mymonth = 2 End If If mymonth = "Mar" Then mymonth = 3 End If If mymonth = "Apr" Then mymonth = 4 end if If mymonth = "May" Then mymonth = 5 end if If mymonth = "Jun" Then mymonth = 6 end if If mymonth = "Jul" Then mymonth = 7 end if If mymonth = "Aug" Then mymonth = 8 end if If mymonth = "Sep" Then mymonth = 9 end if If mymonth = "Oct" Then mymonth = 10 end if If mymonth = "Nov" Then mymonth = 11 end if If mymonth = "Dec" Then mymonth = 12 end if mydate = mymonth & "/" & myday & "/" & myyear & " " & workingtime mydate = CDate(mydate) mydate = mydate - .29166666 mydiff = DateDiff("d", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " days ago" Else mydiff = DateDiff("h", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " Hours ago" Else mydiff = DateDiff("n", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " Minutes ago" Else mydiff = DateDiff("s", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " Seconds ago" End If End If End If End If mytestmessage = split(mymessage(1), "http") myubound1 = ubound(mytestmessage) if left(mytestmessage(0), 2) <> " @" then if myubound1 > 0 then myvariable = myvariable & mytestmessage(0) & " <a href=" &Chr(34) & "http"& mytestmessage(1) & Chr(34) & ">http"&mytestmessage(1) & "</a>"& " " & mydiff & " " else myvariable = myvariable & mytestmessage(0) & " " & mydiff & " " end if loopcounter = loopcounter + 1 else End if counter = counter + 1 Loop Response.Write myvariable End Function %> <html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en" dir="ltr"> <head> <title>Dave, a self portrait in words: Why do I write in these pages?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Why do I write in these pages?

I have done quite a bit of thinking about why I right in these pages. My standard answer is I write here for me. Lately, I have lost much of my interest in writing, feeling that it caused more harm than good. Thinking that the words that I had to say meant very little, to anyone other than the other voices in my head.

I often have a very low opinion of my self. I know this. It is something that I have tried to work on lately. I feel that this is one of the things I have been failing at. Along with being a good partner, friend, and lover. I have had some pretty low points lately. In the end there are 2 choices, live with the way that things are, or make changes to make them better.

At this point, I want to continue to make changes that I think will make things better. It is taking so much more strength... more will power, it hurts, I cry, I feel like a fool, I feel like a failure. but I move on... forward... always forward... looking back when I have to, crying when I have to, picking up my foot for that next step no matter how hard it might seem, no matter how much I know that next step might change everything for the worse.

I know.... I know that in a moment, everything could change for the better, just as it could change for the worse. I hold tight to my hope, that the future holds happiness, smiles, love, and companionship.... I hope.... I will be ready

Labels: feelings, hope, thoughs, why

Dave, a self portrait in words

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Why do I write in these pages?

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