<% Function showtwitter() On Error Resume next howmannyposts = 7 url = "http://twitter.com/statuses/user_timeline/15436552.rss" set xmlhttp = CreateObject("MSXML2.ServerXMLHTTP") xmlhttp.open "GET", url, False xmlhttp.send "" myvar = xmlhttp.responseText myvar2 = split(myvar, "") myvar3 = split(myvar2(1), "", -1, 1) myjoin = Join(myvar3, VbCrLf) myvar3 = Split(myjoin, "tazicus:") myubound = ubound(myvar3) myuboundreal = myubound If myubound > howmannyposts Then myubound = howmannyposts counter = 1 loopcounter = 1 Do Until loopcounter = myubound myloopvar = Split(myvar3(counter), "<description>") mydatevar = Split(myvar3(counter), "<pubDate>") mydatevar1 = Split(mydatevar(1), "</pubDate>") mydate = mydatevar1(0) myloopvar1 = Split(myloopvar(1), "</description>") mymessage = Split(myloopvar1(0), "tazicus:") mymessagetemp = mymessage(1) mysplitdate = Split(mydate, " ") workingtime = mysplitdate(4) myyear=mysplitdate(3) mymonth=mysplitdate(2) myday=mysplitdate(1) If mymonth = "Jan" Then mymonth = 1 End If If mymonth = "Feb" Then mymonth = 2 End If If mymonth = "Mar" Then mymonth = 3 End If If mymonth = "Apr" Then mymonth = 4 end if If mymonth = "May" Then mymonth = 5 end if If mymonth = "Jun" Then mymonth = 6 end if If mymonth = "Jul" Then mymonth = 7 end if If mymonth = "Aug" Then mymonth = 8 end if If mymonth = "Sep" Then mymonth = 9 end if If mymonth = "Oct" Then mymonth = 10 end if If mymonth = "Nov" Then mymonth = 11 end if If mymonth = "Dec" Then mymonth = 12 end if mydate = mymonth & "/" & myday & "/" & myyear & " " & workingtime mydate = CDate(mydate) mydate = mydate - .29166666 mydiff = DateDiff("d", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " days ago" Else mydiff = DateDiff("h", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " Hours ago" Else mydiff = DateDiff("n", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " Minutes ago" Else mydiff = DateDiff("s", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " Seconds ago" End If End If End If End If mytestmessage = split(mymessage(1), "http") myubound1 = ubound(mytestmessage) if left(mytestmessage(0), 2) <> " @" then if myubound1 > 0 then myvariable = myvariable & mytestmessage(0) & " <a href=" &Chr(34) & "http"& mytestmessage(1) & Chr(34) & ">http"&mytestmessage(1) & "</a>"& "<br>" & mydiff & "<br><br>" else myvariable = myvariable & mytestmessage(0) & "<br>" & mydiff & "<br><br>" end if loopcounter = loopcounter + 1 else End if counter = counter + 1 Loop Response.Write myvariable End Function %> <html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en" dir="ltr"> <head> <title>Dave, a self portrait in words: Another Beautiful Day

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Another Beautiful Day

When you were just a child of eight
You were taught you were not to deviate
Only one way to heaven but half a million ways to fall

Well we can alienate the strange and the odd
As long as we're one nation under God
He might love me but you're his favorite of all

And it's another beautiful day
It's another beautiful day
It's another beautiful day In the land of the free

We can hate the Jews and the blacks and the fags
As long as we pray and salute the flag
And fall on our knees to a Jesus who looks just like you.


And it's another beautiful day
It's another beautiful day
It's another beautiful day In the land of the free


They blessed your soul and told you to travel
Dressed in polyester for a God made to grovel
Your a man on a mission I wish you could save
yourself


And it's another beautiful day
It's another beautiful day
It's another beautiful day In the land of the free

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posted by Dave at 11:20 AM

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