OMG OMG TV

so naturally, I went to get the cables and found the TV that I just bought at frys eletronics for 760$ less than I just paid. I spent a couple hours today and got the original one returned and the new one purchased. FUN stuff. lol well at least it is all set up and put back in place, and even cabeled correctly.

the OMG TV

Today, I finally did it. I finally purchased the TV that I have been looking at for so long. Its a little large, but so far I really like it. I have had to go set all the on the media center, and change my cords that connect everything together. Overall though, I am pretty excited bout the whole thing.

Sickness always at the wrong time

So woke up today totally sick, not what I was looking forward to. I figured that it was coming, I think that I was due. I am gonna vegg today, take it easy. See if I can kick it before it gets to bad. I think the boys are going explore the city, be away so it all should work out. UG I hate being sick.

The Big Ditch

So decided to go see the Grand Canyon today, we also decided to take the rental mustang... I rode in the back, all the way up... Back of the mustang. It was "Cozy" lol to say the least. Once we got up there, it was Cold, and also very impressive. Its one of those things that you just have to see. I still want to Take the train from Williams to the Gran Canyon. (I so love trains, and I think that it would be such a beautiful trip. I moved here in 96 I had never seen the Grand Canyon, it was time.

We had breakfast on the way up in flagstaff, and dinner on the way home also in flagstaff, both of which were really good in my opinion, was really nice to get some time away from PHX with friends.

A Quiet Christmas

So I have had a tough time "Getting in the spirit" this year. I didn't buy my tree, I didn't decorate my new house. I blamed it on my new job that has me traveling, but another big part of it is that this time of year has many things that had become tradition, and it just didn't feel right this year, so I had just decided not to do them. Things are just different, and it hits me every now and then just how different

I think spending a good portion of today on my own is exactly what I needed to do. To reflect, to just sit and be quiet. I did quiet a bit of cleaning, but now I am just here thinking, wondering what the future holds. what the new year will be like. I am not going to say that this is something that is a happy experience, but not sad either, just necessary. At least for now.

Christmas Visiters

Just a quick update, Tim and Ryan get here tonight at 9PM, I look forward to the week. They will be the first visiters I have had, and am pretty excited about it

Pontiac G6 (from hell)

Ok so I have written some reviews of car in my recent travels. This time I waited several days to write this review to make sure that I could fully express how I felt about about this automobile. To start off with, I made a point of renting a car and upgrading two levels with points. Once I arrived and saw that the car was a Pontiac G6 (sized as the same class as before the upgrades), I started becoming upset. I went back in to talk to person at the rental counter, and find out what the deal was with my upgrade.

They told me they didn't have any other cars other than a Toyota solara, and a convertible sebring, neither of these seemed worth it to me. Did I mention that I was in settle at the time? I did get them to remove my points upgrade from the rental; thats right they were going to leave it as an upgrade even though they did not upgrade me. What a system.

The Car... well lets see where to start, it was powered, by a v-6.. I found out later they claim that it is a 3.5 liter v-6 attached to the same 4-speed automatic from the late 70's if you want the fancy 3.6 and the 6-speed auto, you have to buy the GXP. that is a GM thing that I have yet to understand, to get technology from this decade, and get a acceptable driving experience you have to buy the top of the line version.

the version I rented could almost get out of its own way, only because it was powered by a v-6, it was less than seamless though. It shifted as thought it was programed by a someone who had no clue how a transmission was supposed to work, and the ratios would let the car rev to red-line and then fall on its face in the next gear... if only there were more ratios to choose from. That of course was just the beggning, in the rain the car was rather sketchy to drive, it drifted over expansion joints and rough pavement, making you feel like the car was going to leave the road at any moment. The next issue was the traction control, when it came on it accessed the ABS motor which I could hear over the raido. it then cut all the throttle further putting the car out of control. In the hills of Seattle, it made it almost impossible to leave a stop period.

Over all I would put this second to bottom of the list, I think I would only put the mustang below this car. The mustang had no options and felt like parts were going to fall off. the G6 at least seemed fully put together.

Phoenix Airport christmas weekend

So I flew in to PHX on Christmas weekend, the Friday of Christmas weekend actually. the people were unreal, and then waited an hour and a half for luggage. was not an experience that was something that I would ever like to repeat. I ended up having to fly home on on southwest, and the more I think about it the more I think I will have to start flying them more often. This is the third time I have flown them, each time seems to be a little better, and now that I know I can guy the business class for a few dollars more, I think it might be worth it. Some of the ways that they do things seem to be much better at least in theory.

Random thoughts i guess.

Eletric Violen SeaTac

So I got to Airport today, decided I wanted some Wendy's. the only tables left were Right infront of a gentelman that was playing an eletric violin. His name is Geoffrey Castle.
http://www.geoffreycastle.com/ I was quite impressed with his music, and actually decided to purchase all three of his CD's. I loaded them into itunes and on-to my i-pod. I find the music to be really soothing. Peacefull

Full Week In Seattle

So I was in Seattle for a full week. This is the first time I was here for a week. for the most part things went well. I think that Thursday summed up everything. I got the two big issues fixed that I was working on. I feel pretty good over all. I am looking forward to heading this afternoon.

Family

Where to start.. The chinchilla that came with the youngest neice (all of 90 lbs so'ing wet) who joined the millitary to be a MP (millitary police) then got married to a guy in boot camp who was being shipped to the otherside of the country. Then got discharged when she got hurt.

Grandpa saying he was having an orgasm while eating some home made dip..

An uncle saying that he finaly made money working for another family that had screwed over every family member that had tried to help him..

Or maybe my dad buying little jars that when one put their fingers into the substance it made farting noises.

it is safe for me to say that they make me smile.. They are crazy.. But they make me smile, the best part is that I fit right in.. LOL
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Saturn VUE just like a toyota carolla..

So I rented a car for my time here at grandma's, and it was just for transportation so I went as cheap as I could. in this case at SMF it was a toyota carolla. WhenI arived to pick up my car, it was actually a saturn vue 4-cyl FWD. I thought, I don't really see those as being the same, but ok.

After driving it, I am rather annoyed. I like it, and that bugs me. its very solid, its peppy, it gets good miledge. and it has touch to lane change blinker operation, just like all the german cars. the driving position is even nice, it does have a center console that bugs my knee but overall driving it is really plesent.

Maybe chevrolet is actually turning it around as people have suggested. I would put this on a higher scale than the ford fusion for sure. at least the 4-cyl. I look forward to trying out the grandparents Aura. :)

Southwest, the cattel call airline.

So I had to fly southwest to SMF from SEA. I have always avoided them like the plague, but they flew direct and they had the time that I wanted. Contrary to popular belief its not first come first served anymore, they still do not have assigned seats, but they line up in odd ways, and you have a group (A, B, or C) then you have a number 1-50 or something like that. you then are supposed to line up in order, I am not sure how they get these numbers since I booked the flight hours before.

Once on the plane the seats are leather of some kind, which is nice, there is no extra room, but at least the planes are all 737-700's which makes them a little nicer. one sat down the flight attendants are given liberty with the safety instructions, saying things like "the seat belt, in case you have not been in a car since 1963 operates by taking the metal tab and putting it in the slot until it clicks" and "there is absolutely no smoking on the plane, but if you would like to step out on the observeration deck on the wing you can see our in flight movie "gone with the wind" if you have any questions you can talk to our flight attendant "Wendy." This made the experience much more entertaining, but the cattle call still left a bad taste in my mouth, perhaps just because it was different.

I think i understand why southwest tends to be more on-time than other air-lines, they taxi to the runway at like 90 MPH, also when the pilot said "we will be cruising at 41,000 feet" I didn't think he meant we would make it there in 5 minutes. but over all it was a present flight, and I might even try it again some day. I think I will fly back home through Denver though.

friday morning fear

So, last night I posted about how I was feeling. at least I started the process, since if got hung up I had to re-post this morning. I re-read what I wrote last night, and I realize that I don't really feel better today. This is not a good sign for me, usually I can step back from a situation and calm down and think about it rationally. This time that did not happen. I think it might have to do with the fact that when I attempted to step away from the conversation I was pulled back in and felt forced to continue after I knew it was no longer productive. I know better than that, wish I would have listened to myself.

So now I have to wonder, will I carry this through the day? or will I be able to shake it. I am hoping I can shake it, but also not going to count on that. I just wanted to post a short message to myself so that I could come back and notice later that this is how I feel.

Pain

Websters Dictionary defines pain as A symptom of some physical hurt or disorder, Emotional distress; a fundamental feeling that people try to avoid.

I think that this is a good start to the definition, but I would also like to add, that physical pain I and most people can deal with. It is something that happens and you just have to endure it until it is gone. Mental pain on the other hand is something far more difficult. there is not rules for when or how it starts, or for how long it will last. many times it will sneak up on someone and leave them totally disabled and unable to function.

This is how I feel tonight. Not ready to hurt like this, unprepared to "deal with it" I am left staring at the ceiling, only able to ask "why?". Today after work I fly to visit grandma, and see the family. I am hoping that this will be an escape and not a reminder of the past. So much of the past. So much tied together. even thought I know its is the worst thing I could do, I really just want to go hide somewhere till it all passes me by. I know that I have to face this, that I have to deal with the issues that are in front of me, that doesn't change the fact that I don't want to....

The yin and yang of my life

Sometimes things come to me in the oddest ways. Today I was updating my profile on the work forums, and I realized I did not have a little picture next to my name. I thought that I would update it and just put the picture of my car in there that I like so much.
















I realized that it didn't let me post pictures from my machine, that I had to pick one from their list. As I browsed the list I saw couple that I kinda liked, but nothing that I really felt comfortable putting as my icon. Then I saw the yin and yang icon, and it got me to thinking. the symbol is ment to portrey the struggle between good and evil, and keeping balance. that the universe works on a balance between the two. This got me to thinking about my life, and how there has always been an inner struggle for me.

The invisable plane

So now that I have been traveling for a while, I have noticed this odd phenomon. I am here like 15-30 minutes before the plane is supposed to board and there is no plane present.

My theory is that they keep it invisible until its time to board to keep us paying passengers guessing....

LOL gotta laugh to keep from crying.
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The rental mustang

So I got to the airport, I had expected to get a chevy malibu since that is what I reserved. I was a little shocked to find a mustang in its place. It was that light blue color that I love so much (not). I loaded my stuff into the trunk and was on my way.

I first noticed that it seemed pretty peppy (shocker I noticed that first I know) the second thing I noticed was that with 16K on the ODO it needed to be re-assembeled. The front suspension felt like it was not fully connected, the beauty rings for the shifter were falling off and ir ratteled REALLY bad.

One on the freeway it still had pleanty of pep as long as you were not afraid to use the gas pedal.

It seemed as though the first 3 or 4 gears were spaced pretty close which made city driving actually pretty nice, always power on tap and was fairly smooth. (I am still biased for the DSG of course.)

On the freeway in american fasion O/D was WAY out there. Like 70 was 2K in O/D and almost 4K out of O/D which was 4th gear in this car. I also think it has a decent stall in the torque converter which unlocked with any shift and had no operation of its own. Since I only drove the car about 30 miles I am willing to chalk that up to transmission adaption.

Overall this is my score of rental cars overall:
1. Ford focus (this car is good all over and can get really good miledge)
2. Toyota preius (its just neat needs better seats though)
3. Ford mustang V-6 (this may change if I get more time in one)
4. NEW Caddy CTS (needs tranny programing BAD!!!)
5. Ford fusion 4-cyl (looking forward to driving the v-6 of this car)
99. For tarus (the old one) all around crappy car with less power than the focus and 19 MPG to boot.. ICK I do want to drive the new one though.
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On the plane

So here I am sitting on the plane.. I can't sleep so I am thinking. As I did my thoughts drifted, first of things I could have done if I-5 was not closed. I could have stayed the extra day and visited my friends in portland. Then my thoughts drifted to driving down the oregon coast, and the past... This of course lead me to thoughts of the past and of L.

I think about him more than I let on. Definatly more than I post about here. I think I am afraid. Afraid what thoughts of him lead to. Seems silly when I actually think about it. So much of who I am is tied to him. We have been in each others lives for a long time.

Through all the times we hurt each other and all the dark stuff, there is somthing wonderfull to counter it, to tell the truth, those are what I remember most. I choose to let the bad fade and hold tight on the things that make me smile, that make me feel warm and fuzzie. All the stuff no one but he and I saw. I think that is what made it so hard.

People from the outside would see things that were on the surface. They never got to see the tender moments, I think this is one of the things that I resent. I understand it, but I resent the fact that I could never prove to people how wonderful I thought he was. After a while I stopped trying to correct people. I stopped looking for ways prove it. Eventually I think I stopped believing it myself. Thinking that if he couldn't be open enough to let people see, that maybe I was the one that was pretending and living in the fairy tail.

I try so hard not to have regrets, but these last couple of months there have been a lot of mistakes. Things that will be hard not to regret for the rest of my life. Things I could never imagine doing, and yet here I am staring them directly in the face.

Tomarrow is a new day.. A day to start fresh..

Downtown Seattle in the morning

As I walked through the streets of downtown Seattle looking for refuge from the cold and the beginning of rain there was the feeling of fear in the atmosphere. At that moment I felt so stereotypical, fear of being approached or attacked by someone less fortunate than myself. Gets me to thinking how we got to this point in the world. The highest group on the food chain. Fearful of ourselves creating such huge gaps between the well off and the downtrodden. Does this mean that I am going to do something about it? Most likely not, I will prolly put on the ipod and turn a blind eye as the rest of the world does. Not because I don't want to help, not because I can't help. I think because 1 the problem seems to big for one person. And 2 every time I turn on q news program I hear of innocent people being hurt, even those that try to help.

 

I do believe things could be better but it would take a shift on both sides of the situation.

 

I think I will have to think about this some more.