<% Function showtwitter() On Error Resume next howmannyposts = 7 url = "http://twitter.com/statuses/user_timeline/15436552.rss" set xmlhttp = CreateObject("MSXML2.ServerXMLHTTP") xmlhttp.open "GET", url, False xmlhttp.send "" myvar = xmlhttp.responseText myvar2 = split(myvar, "") myvar3 = split(myvar2(1), "", -1, 1) myjoin = Join(myvar3, VbCrLf) myvar3 = Split(myjoin, "tazicus:") myubound = ubound(myvar3) myuboundreal = myubound If myubound > howmannyposts Then myubound = howmannyposts counter = 1 loopcounter = 1 Do Until loopcounter = myubound myloopvar = Split(myvar3(counter), "<description>") mydatevar = Split(myvar3(counter), "<pubDate>") mydatevar1 = Split(mydatevar(1), "</pubDate>") mydate = mydatevar1(0) myloopvar1 = Split(myloopvar(1), "</description>") mymessage = Split(myloopvar1(0), "tazicus:") mymessagetemp = mymessage(1) mysplitdate = Split(mydate, " ") workingtime = mysplitdate(4) myyear=mysplitdate(3) mymonth=mysplitdate(2) myday=mysplitdate(1) If mymonth = "Jan" Then mymonth = 1 End If If mymonth = "Feb" Then mymonth = 2 End If If mymonth = "Mar" Then mymonth = 3 End If If mymonth = "Apr" Then mymonth = 4 end if If mymonth = "May" Then mymonth = 5 end if If mymonth = "Jun" Then mymonth = 6 end if If mymonth = "Jul" Then mymonth = 7 end if If mymonth = "Aug" Then mymonth = 8 end if If mymonth = "Sep" Then mymonth = 9 end if If mymonth = "Oct" Then mymonth = 10 end if If mymonth = "Nov" Then mymonth = 11 end if If mymonth = "Dec" Then mymonth = 12 end if mydate = mymonth & "/" & myday & "/" & myyear & " " & workingtime mydate = CDate(mydate) mydate = mydate - .29166666 mydiff = DateDiff("d", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " days ago" Else mydiff = DateDiff("h", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " Hours ago" Else mydiff = DateDiff("n", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " Minutes ago" Else mydiff = DateDiff("s", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " Seconds ago" End If End If End If End If mytestmessage = split(mymessage(1), "http") myubound1 = ubound(mytestmessage) if left(mytestmessage(0), 2) <> " @" then if myubound1 > 0 then myvariable = myvariable & mytestmessage(0) & " <a href=" &Chr(34) & "http"& mytestmessage(1) & Chr(34) & ">http"&mytestmessage(1) & "</a>"& "<br>" & mydiff & "<br><br>" else myvariable = myvariable & mytestmessage(0) & "<br>" & mydiff & "<br><br>" end if loopcounter = loopcounter + 1 else End if counter = counter + 1 Loop Response.Write myvariable End Function %> <html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en" dir="ltr"> <head> <title>Dave, a self portrait in words: Emotion is a funny thing....

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Emotion is a funny thing....

its funny how things remind you of the past, and the effect that they can have on your emotional state of mind.. sitting in an empty house with no lights on, I am listening to music. a list that is set to random... the beat the words, the meaning can reach into my very soul to a place where I hide things I don't want to think about or deal with.. if just to say, "you can't hide from yourself" somthing that I need to be reminded of from time to time.

no matter how many times I get emotional I still wonder at the causes. I need to take a drive tomarrow and visit someone... that always makes me cry but also gives me clarity... and perspective... I think that it is nessasarry for even the most tough person to cry once in a while, there are things that you just cannot express in life.. and sometimes the only way to deal with them is to totally break down and let go even if just for a moment..

Life is so short, I look back at the last 5 years and wonder where it all went. I look at my life... I look forward and wonder what there is in store for me. I wonder why no matter how hard I try there are just some things that I can't bare to deal with...

hummm a song just came on.... wonder if it is just a coinedence.. "I'm so tired of being here, supressed by all my childish fears.. and if you ahve to leave.. I wish you would just leave.. cause your presence still lingers here.. and it won't leave me alone.. these wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just to real.. theres just to much that time cannot erase. When you cryed, i'd Iwipe away all of your tears.. when you scream I'd fight away all of your fears, I've heald your hand through all of these years... but you still have.... all of me...." Well that pretty much summs it up for me..

SO many things that I cannot put into words, so many memories that are so happy... I could ask why but I know that there is no one answer, I know that everything happens for a reason.. maybe this was to show me that life is a chain of events all strung together just memories holding them together.. both good and bad. Life is truly a Journey, and the experences we gain along the way I believe are the meaning.

To have a shoulder to cry on tonight.. to have a warm body next to me, to have someone to just tell me that everything will be ok. I close my eyes think about the past and I smile, Then I open my eyes, and wish for someone that I could share my thoughts and dreams with again.... God I miss that.....

WOW.. So much emotion... emotion pulling several different directions at the same time.. I should probally wrap this up before I get wound to tight.

I look to the past as a guide to the future, knowing that all I am armed with in my life is my experences, and knoledge that I have gained from mistakes and lessons I have learned in the past. So I look forward, with smile, knowing that anything can happen tomarrow and it could be the day that changes my life forever. -ME

posted by Dave at 11:46 PM

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