lost

feeling a little lost tonight, trying to sleep. Wishing that sometimes life was a little eaiser, that direction was eaiser to find.

My new goal that seems to be working is to just laugh at everything that I can, to let go of everything I can't laugh at, and just let it be what it will be.

tomarrow is a new day, full of new adventure, and could change my life forever...

Got to have hope.

Poetetic thoughts

I lay in bed,
Siclence; It fills my head,
Takes my mind,
To a simpler time,
A time when Things made sence
A time before This fence
Built to keep me safe,
Built to keep me Alone.

I think about life now
Ponder it's meaning
How I will live from here
When my last day will be
Wonder what will happen on that day.
What I might see.

Will I touch the sky,
CoUld I fly that high?
Or will I fall?
Into the depths below

I can't know
Not until I go.
I can't guess
Even when pressed
To konw what is on the otherside
To unhide before I go,
Would be more than I could ever show

Evening thoughts

I have a roomate to whom I can bare my soul and have him not
remember in the morning. At the moment it seems like a good thing...
Then the next day, it as though none of it ever happened, and it hurts.

So many things I am feeling tonight. I want to be able to express them
All in words, but unfortunatly, the words just arnt coming tonight.

What do I need? What do I want? How much time do I actually have to
achieve either. Tonight I feel alone, I know I am not, but it feels
that way.

The need to get away now fueled by the reasons that I didn't. I wish
there was an easy answer, I wish I could cry tonight. The tears also
will not come.

I wish the answer was eaiser.

picture that caught me off gaurd in a good way

As I was sitting here piddeling with my iPhone (yes I found it) I ran across a picture, I had not seen in about a year... it gave me chills, followed by the biggest goofy smile, as I thought.. There.. in that picture... in that moment... I was happy...

The fact of the matter is not when or where that picture was taken, just that it was and that was how I felt at that moment. would love to have more times like that...

smile as i go to bed... heres to hoping

it has happened again

I looked up a music video of a song that I like, and am left in total awe,

David Archuleta - crush

WOW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yff9nCctMkg

just somthing that I can relate to, and not at all what I expected.

-D

Vitamins

so, I have started taking a multi-vitamin, and honestly after just about a week, I feel much more stable. I was feeling like I was all over the place that for a while, as can be seen in my blog. Well I suppose that we will see how things go from here, but heres to keepign my fingers crossed

am ok

today... I am ok, was nothing special about today, but I am ok. I think that I will focus on being ok for a little while, before trying other things. its been a really trying couple of weeks, and its time to just concentrate on being ok, one day at a time... heck one minute at a time. the rest will come after that, with a little Patience